Have you ever done a Trust Fall? I have seen this done as a team-building exercise. It’s pretty much the same, whether it’s at a summer camp or an employee seminar for team-building; one person gets up on a ridiculously high platform, turns their back to the drop, and then falls backwards to everyone else who is waiting to catch them. Seems crazy? :) I have never seen anyone hit the ground so I think it’s a pretty safe exercise, but I have seen some people absolutely FREAK OUT up there! :) They literally are in tears and crying because they are so terrified of falling backwards, knowing that they have to trust the people who are going to catch them (hopefully ;). And when they DO finally get the courage to fall, they scream the entire way down like they just fell off the Empire State building to their death. :) Now I am not poking fun at people who have a serious fear of heights or trust issues, but more so at those of us who have these irrational fears. I myself am terrified of tight spaces and I start to internally freak out when I am in one; I start to sweat, heart pounding, and I try as fast as I can to get free when I start to panic. No matter how hard I try to convince myself that I’m being ridiculous, when the fear and panic sets in there is no escape except the escape from whatever the fear is caused by.
This reminds me SO much of a bride’s relationship with her vendors. The bride that is exhausted with anxiety on the day of her wedding day either 1) doesn’t have enough solid people who she has trusted to help her wedding day run smoothly or 2) she isn’t used to trusting other people with such an important day in her life so she thinks she needs to make sure everyone is doing their job. This is no way to be a Happy Bride! The number one thing that will KILL your happiness on your wedding day is stress and anxiety. Emily and I have seen a few times when our poor bride, riddled with anxiety, just cannot enjoy what should be the happiest day of her life because she is so concerned that all her planning is going to be ruined; in her anxiousness, she runs through her mental check list over and over to make sure the flower girls are dressed, rings are accounted for, floral arrangements are in place, caterer is paid, tables are set, lipstick is on, DJ is on time, and on and on… For the stressed out bride, the list will not stop until she and her groom are running through the sparkler exit at the end of her wedding day. This, to us, is a very sad wedding experience.
Are you reading this with a pounding heart and rising blood pressure because some of this is hitting home? Are you worried that the people you have trusted with the most important day of your life are going to let you down? Or maybe you are realizing that you are doing a trust fall and there are only 3 people trying to catch you and you haven’t planned on enough help? You need to change something up and remove yourself from the thing that is causing your fear. Here are 2 ways that The Happy Bride would deal with this.
First, know your own shortfalls. If you know your weaknesses you know where you need help. Do you need a wedding planner who can help you organize your big day? Or if you are an extremely organized person and you want to do all of your own planning, you may want to hire a day-of wedding coordinator so that when your wedding day comes, you can relax and enjoy all of your hard work! Either way, you need someone to be your go-to person on the day of your wedding. You don’t need Aunt Barb asking you about the table centerpieces when you are putting your dress on. We ALWAYS suggest that if you you do not have an official wedding planner or coordinator, that you have someone whom you could trust your LIFE with to help run things on the day of your wedding. Someone whom you can trust completely and know that without a doubt, they can handle anything that comes their way whether it’s the florist is running an hour late or the cellist got food poisoning and isn’t going to be able to make it. :) Will these be stressful things? YES! So you don’t need to be worried about them on your wedding day! You cannot predict everything that will go wrong so just go with the flow! The Happy Bride chooses to let these things go because she has set herself up with people she TRUSTS to handle these kinds of issues :)
Second, be SMART and use people you can TRUST! A good DJ is absolutely essential to an outstanding reception. A wedding planner who you genuinely love to be around is HUGE when you are spending months and months in contact with them. Weddings are such a relational thing and you will be spending ALL DAY with your vendors! Realize that you will not just be hanging out with your guests and your bridal party on your wedding day; your vendors (especially your photographers ;) need to be people that you just LOVE to be around. From a photographer’s point of view, the couples that see us as friends on the day of the wedding love their photos more than the couples who see us as hired help because they trust us completely to capture their day. More often than not, our brides and grooms give us HUGE hugs at the end of their weddings and want to get together afterwards for dinner or coffee. This is because The Happy Bride surrounds herself with people she genuinely LIKES, and who many times become good friends throughout the process. She surrounds herself with people who she truly enjoys, and with people who LOVE to see how HAPPY she and her groom are on their wedding day.
Can you say this is you? Are you rethinking some of your decisions after reading this? If you are planning your wedding and have a bad relationship with one of your vendors, I strongly suggest looking into canceling your contract with them (or even asking for your deposit back). Don’t let people take your money and ruin your wedding day, too. This may seem harsh, but I think it is worse to go through with a contract with someone you can’t stand than to lose a deposit yet spend your wedding day with someone you trust completely and love being around.
So choose the Happy Bride route and be a JOYFUL, STRESS-FREE, PEACEFUL bride and surround yourself with trustworthy people on the most important day of your life!